I Like My Cigar - It has a Mana Bar

Some months ago, a friend shared a disturbing story with me. His theater company was the subject of a project for a few business students of the local university, something about how even in small towns, a private for-profit theater could still be a viable business. And in the course of the conversation with them, he discovered that these three students did not know who the Marx Brothers were. 

My protracted silence of incredulity is what unlimited long distance phone plans were designed for. I fully get that college kids are generally punk jackasses wrapped up in their own world:

Jackasses, circa 1993. Note the band T-shirts (NOT retro at the time) and liberal application of Mt. Dew

...but the last time I remember NOT knowing who the Marx Brothers was 1989. I was 12. I'm not going to take standard geek umbrage here. I can't claim to have seen all (or even most) of the Marx Brothers films. I couldn't quote any of their more notable gags without sitting and thinking about it for hours. But I CAN name all the Marx brothers, and I don't even have to look them up on the Internets: Groucho, Harpo, Frodo, Chico, Bilbo, Zeppo, and Friendo. 

Friendo Marx. The funniest of all.

(Come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure the Marx Matriarch squipped out that many kids. I think Friendo is a Marx Brother in the same sense that the guy from Firefly is a Baldwin Brother. Not a bonafide sibling, per se, but more like a cousin).

Kim Basinger's ex Cousin-in-Law

I'm trying to figure out what it is about these fine young college students' ignorance that upsets and offends me so much. I've toyed with the idea that it has to do with the fact that all knowledge is more accessible than ever via our hand-held Internet portals, and thus we've become lazier and less intelligent as a species, but that doesn't seem quite right. I accept that we don't need to store minutiae in our brains, anymore, because damn near any piece of information can be brought up in a smart-phone search engine race. Thus, valuable brain power is freed up for analysis, creativity, and the bits of info we DO care to store in our heads because we'd prefer be able to spout off (sans search engine) what color Leonardo's headband is (blue) rather than tell you who the 12th President of the US is (no idea). Like the microwave ovens and blenders of the nuclear 50s, accessible Web info is simply another labor saving device, affording us more leisure time for the important stuff. So I can't blame it on the technology.  I think I just have to accept that subsequent generations are getting stupider.

Once upon a time, the roles were reversed: the older generation remained ignorant of the younger generation's zeitgeist. And the younger generation, while intolerant and mocking of the older generation's cultural bullet points, were at least AWARE of said bullet points. As a kid, I was aware of my father's on-screen hero, John Wayne, even though I'd never seen any of his movies. I could tell you who Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson were. Even knew a couple of their songs. But I doubt my father had any idea who the Ninja Turtles were. He didn't register He-Man as anything other than "$5.99." And there is no way he ever spoke, heard, or even thought the words "Battle Beasts."

But now the kids today (am I really old enough to utter that cliche?) get to be the ignorant ones. And I refuse the old fuddy-duddy moniker, because unlike my own ancestry, I actually UNDERSTAND the kids' zeitgeist today. I'm apparently part of the lost middling generation who can be bothered to not only know who these guys are:

Not pictured: Frodo, Bilbo.

but who also understands THIS:

Seriously. A Mana Bar makes this thing scary as hell.

Boss Spider has about eight different levels of comedic and cultural reference brilliance going on. I'm not going to bore you with the details if you don't get it, but suffice to say, most video game playing nerds find this funny. (Even funnier if you're looking at the picture with an arachnophobic co-worker nearby). My brother gets this. The friends I grew up with and went to college with get this. My co-workers get this. AND THEY ALL KNOW WHO THE DAMN MARX BROTHERS ARE!

Somebody suggested that we could find Marxist cultural reference common ground with these college students by invoking The Brothers animated progeny, one Bugs Bunny. Intriguing idea! Surely the carrot-chomping wise-acre antics of everyone's favorite Wascially Wabbit is sure to spark some mote of recognition for Groucho's cigar-gnawing quips! Right? RIGHT?

Or maybe they'll simply respond "Who's Bugs Bunny?" 

And I'll crack open a Metamucil and go join my father in a John Wayne marathon on TNT.